Fall Into Ranting...

Wow. It has been exactly 1 year to the day, since I last posted to this here blog. Interesting that I had no idea until FB delivered that info to me just moments after I posted this rant. The power of why things happen. We are always where we are supposed to be. Positive or Negative. Be well, everyone. Happy Tuesday!

(recycled from a recent conversation)

"I am an intense being...
I am blunt
I tell it how it is
sugar coating just leaves room for misunderstanding,
hurt feelings, let downs, etc
I have been through all of that
we all have been through that in relationships
with other partners, friends, family, etc.
it's all the same, just different people,
different experiences
but we all follow a similar pattern
being aware of that pattern is what helps two people understand what to value the most
truth and being real
no face
no bullshit
no wasting time
this is 2011 not 1920

I talk alot.
I am not shy
I speak my mind
positive or negative
I try not to hurt feelings for the sake of hurting feelings,
but try to never sugar coat
we all have things that we need to work on
to better how we communicate and behave
we will be doing this until our minds are old and mush
self esteem is easy
women need to wake up in the morning and say in the mirror, "I am a goddess!"
and mean it!
...and the rest of the day can be a high on power
guys should wake up and say in the mirror,
"I am a good person, not an asshole!"
and mean it!
how many people look into the mirror
and actually say to themselves, "I love you!"?
and mean that?
not enough

I am a good person
I am an asshole
but it is a balance
and knowing how to understand
when an asshole moment can be controlled
and a positive outcome
every guy is a dick at times
every girl is a bitch at times
it is a part of the human experience and is called emotion

I have made huge mistakes
I still make mistakes
It's all about learning
and learning to unlearn
I sold porn at age 11
moved out at 16
I grew up fast
I try not to assume, hope, or plan too far ahead anymore

Actually, I never hope......it is always a set up for letdown
or so I have learned in my life
I just go with it
especially since I have children
they change how one looks at the world
I dislike being let down
and often wonder why others' put so much faith in hope
life is simple
we, as humans, make it difficult

In a female:
I like intelligence
I like independence
I like personality
I like sarcasm
I like tatts
I like adventure
I like artsy/culture
I like collar bones
I like jaw bones
I like the top of the ass where it meets the back

talking online can only relay so much
about someone's character
meeting someone in person can prove if two people
are meant to be friends
display face value character and personality...
what can meeting hurt?
worst is we are not into eachother
does it change much?
if two adults want to chat, then chat
fuck then fuck
marry then marry
have kids then have kids
but know what comes after any of those
or choose before hand how the situation gets handled before doing any of those things that two people do

I have twin 4 year old boys
I have a 13 year old step-daughter
I have been her papa since she was 5
she does not know her dad well
I signed on to be her dad when she was 5
and in the divorce I still kept my word

I have lived much, played hard
I just don't fuck around any more
I lost my virginity to a girl that wanted anal sex
2 years before vaginal
I have a lot of interesting stories.
None of which I would like my children to follow".